One day this past school year, I was sitting in my friend's car in a parking lot on campus. I saw someone in a wheelchair (can't remember if it was a man/woman, young/old) and they seemed to be having a hard time - the road was grading uphill. I wanted to go over to them and push them, but I figured they'd get angry at me for "pitying" them. So I just sat there.
Another day I was driving in the rain and saw a man walking on the side of the road. I wanted to pull over and give him a ride so he wouldn't have to walk in the rain, but I have this paranoia about picking up murderous hitchhikers (as does almost everyone else, I'm assuming) - so I drove on by.
One day I saw a couple arguing on the sidewalk. I had no idea what they were fighting about, but I still wanted to go over and try and help, like moderate the debate in a way. But they'd probably yell at me for butting in on their lives, so I walked on by. Maybe if I had intruded, they would have forgotten their momentary hate for each other and united it against me, and in turn that would've helped them out, somehow.
Another day I saw a woman sitting on a bench on campus, looking very distraught/downtrodden. I wanted to sit down and console her, give her someone to talk to, remind her of the good things in life. Instead I just walked on by. I figured she wouldn't open up to a complete stranger anyways.
One day an old war veteran came through my line at Kroger. He was buying his groceries with a food stamp card, but he didn't have enough money on the card so it wouldn't go through. My supervisor came over and told him there was nothing we could do, and that's when he started pleading with us - I need this food, I don't have much in my house and don't have any cash. I offered my life for this country dammit, why is it so damn hard for me to live in it? - he had tears in his eyes at this point. My supervisor kept saying we couldn't do anything for him. He eventually left, and the supervisor said he was probably just trying to get free groceries out of us by pulling the "ol' war vet card". His order was only 30 bucks or so, and I had the cash in my wallet. I wanted to buy his groceries for him. But I didn't. I can't even remember what I spent it on now.
I think we all have these moments. some maybe more than others. When I have these moments I just think back to when I first moved. C and I walked to the store to get a pack of cigs and I didn't have enough for my regular brand so when I got up to the clerk I asked what his cheapest menthol was and the lady behind me heard this. She was an older woman and she immediately said "Honey, you just get what you want and I'll pay the extra." I told her I couldn't possibly and she said "Alright then, at least let me buy your daughter an ice cream cone." Obviously I said "Of course." :) All three of us walked out happy yet still complete strangers.
ReplyDeleteI guess what I'm obscurely trying to say is that I had the impression that because there were so many people here that they couldn't possibly have was is known as "Southern Hospitality." They probably see hundreds of people every day, most of them aren't the same people. But those first few weeks I met enough kind strangers to rival the amount of kind strangers I've met in all my years in KY.
They say you should always go with your gut. If your gut is telling you to be a kind stranger, maybe you should just say "fuck it" and be that kind stranger. You may be surprised at how it turns out.
your heart is in the right place, and you are wise to be careful. don't be so hard on yourself. you made a correct choice with the fighting couple ...domestic disputes are dangerous ...even the police are extremely wary about them. the war vet...how much short was he? could he have sorted out some of his groceries....or did he just leave them all ? good post. reanns last comment is good advice, i would add be careful and be aware of your surroundings...kindness did not help the family in the green mile
ReplyDelete