Makes Me Think

There is a website I stumbled upon a couple weeks ago called “Makes Me Think”, where people submit a small post about something that happened to them, or something they witnessed, and this event affected them in such a way that it “made them think”. I love this site not only because it often restores my faith in humanity, but also because it helps keep my life in perspective. Now, I know some critics will claim that some of these submissions were made up or altered to make it a better story (and they do have a point – I noticed nearly perfect grammar/punctuation usage in just about all of them); I might agree with you, but I don’t particularly care if they’re “real” or “fake” – what is real to me is how each story made me think and feel.

With that, I decided to copy a few of these down and give you my thoughts/reactions/reflections on each. Hope you enjoy, and please feel free to comment. And this is a very long post, so while I can understand you not wanting to read it all, I think you should anyways :)

-- “Today, I interviewed a woman who is terminally ill. “So,” I tried delicately to ask, “what is it like to wake up every morning and know that you are dying?” “Well,” she responded, “what is it like to wake up every morning and pretend that you’re not?””

            This one was simple in its profoundness; I can’t speak for everyone, but I’d wager that most don’t wake up every morning and truly praise the fact that they are alive (this may just be a youthful state of mind – perhaps the older you get the more you cherish waking up every day). Thinking constantly about your inevitable death is probably not a very happy way to go through your life, but I think if more people would recognize that their time on this world is limited, they’d find a “better” way to spend it. For me personally, I like to keep that big picture in mind – that’s what helps me brush off all the petty differences and arguments that make up day-to-day life, and why I hardly ever get stressed about anything. Sure, I have my worries, fears, and doubts like any other person, but I understand that life does go on; and the fact that someone cuts you off while driving, or makes fun of you, or any other shallow act that hurts/bothers you, all of these are simply temporary pains, and I don’t care to waste my time or emotional energy with them. Getting back to this terminally ill woman’s statement: prior to reading this, I had a sort-of “life’s mantra” to simply enjoy the little things (and I had it before Zombieland too), and when I read her words it only reinforced that feeling. Stop and smell the damn roses – they won’t always be there, and neither will you.

Which leads me to the next submission:

-- “Today, like every day for the last 4 years, my father picked a fresh flower from his garden and took it to my mother. This time I decided to go with him to see her. And as he placed the flower on her grave, he said, “I just wish I had picked her a fresh flower every day when she was alive.””

            I have two thoughts on this one. Initially it made me reflect on how we spend our time here, and how we regret not doing things when we had the chance, and so on. I feel I covered those thoughts in the first submission. But then it made me think of the type of husband I want to be; give my wife flowers (every day may be a stretch though), tell her I love her every day and mean it, give her little surprises from time to time, let her know how much she means to me – basically, to love her to the best of my capabilities. Now I realize I don’t know anything about this couple; it very well could have been a great marriage, and not picking her a flower every day was the husband’s lone regret – but the sentiment is there in that he truly misses her and wishes he had done more for her. I think this is a sign of true love, in that you want to do everything you can for your significant other, if only just to see them smile.

Which leads me to the next submission:

-- “Today, I asked my 6-year-old son, “What makes a person beautiful?” And he said, “When they smile.””

            Not a whole lot to expand on here, but I really hope this kid keeps his own words in mind and shares them with as many people as he can. Too often our society brainwashes our youth to think that beauty is only skin-deep, which is so detrimental on their development of emotions and personality. When you see a person smile, and I mean truly smile, it really is beautiful. You know that in that moment they are happy, and it can almost be infectious to those around. When I observe people really smiling around me, it does give me a little spark of joy.

Which leads me to the next submission:

-- “Today, a girl who I see every day at work, who’s always the most chipper person in the office, committed suicide.”

            My initial thought was on how some people will put up fronts to mask their true feelings – I guess you can call it a defense mechanism. It made me think that even the seemingly happiest person around will have their own inner turmoil, but they try and repress it, or don’t want to burden those around with their problems. I’m not saying this is a bad thing (because really, who wants to be around a Negative Nancy all the time?), but obviously this girl has some internal issues that she probably would have been better off sharing with someone – and who knows, maybe she did try and seek help/therapy, and it didn’t help her. I can completely understand that; some people just don’t want to live anymore. But on a little more reflection, it made me wonder about our daily interactions with people in general, and how some people could literally be on the brink of suicide and no one suspects a thing. I don’t want to seem overly dramatic and claim that a random act of kindness/tenderness would have saved this girl, but maybe it could’ve.

Which leads me to the next submission:

-- “Today, I was in line at the store behind a man holding a dozen roses. When he got up to the cashier’s counter, he realized that the cashier looked sad. The man smiled and said, “I’m buying 11 of these roses for my wife.” And then he handed the cashier the 12^th rose. She smiled from ear to ear.”

            In combining the suicide from the last submission and the random act of kindness from this one: I know it seems very Hollywood-y of me to suggest this, but perhaps that cashier was contemplating killing herself, and this simple gesture from the man with roses saved her life. The point being, a little gesture can go a long way, and what may seem to be a minor act to the one doing it may have a major impact on the recipient. I’ve always been kind to others, but reading this made me understand that even the littlest things can have the biggest effect on someone – so why not go ahead and do it? This submission just reaffirmed to me that people can still be selfless human beings, and even if it was a conjured story, chances are that one day someone will turn it into a reality. Random acts of kindness will leave both parties with a renewed feeling of happiness and compassion – something I think the world needs a whole lot more of.

Which leads me to the next submission:

-- “Today, I was working in a coffee shop when 2 gay men walked in holding hands. As you might expect, heads started turning. Then a young girl at the table next to me asked her mom why 2 men were holding hands. Her mom replied, “Because they love each other.””

            Speaking of things the world needs more of – parents like this mother here. She not only showed her daughter an example of what love really looks like (as opposed from a Disney fairytale), she likely left an impression of open-mindedness on her daughter. Her child will now (hopefully) grow up with the ability to tolerate what one may not personally agree with, and the respect to let people live their own life. It also helps show how the tide is slowly changing in our society, in regards to the perception of gays and lesbians.

Which leads me to the next submission:

-- “Today, at the final home game of the season, the entire boys basketball team at our high school entered the gymnasium in pairs of two holding hands. They did so in protest of the fact that two gay students had been sent to detention for a week for simply holding hands in the school’s hallways.”

            In following with the theme of public perception of gays, I think this speaks volumes to the future of this issue. Our current society, while continually improving in the realm of laws and tolerance, still has a reserved opinion of gays. For example, if the TV show “The Bachelor” were to have their next bachelor be a gay man, I think that the ratings would drop because in general people are still not comfortable enough to subject themselves to them. I’m guessing that the majority of the male audience would tune out, with some of the more conservative female audience as well (sadly, I think that if it were a lesbian bachelorette that male viewership would increase tenfold. At least.). I don’t have any data/sources for this claim, but I feel it would be true. And what does this say about our society, if my claims were in fact true? That’s why when I read this submission it filled me with a sense of hope and respect for our future society, in the fact that the young people now already accept (for the most part) that being gay is a part of someone’s identity, and not really a decision they make; this allows for a much greater atmosphere of tolerance (and I don’t particularly like the word “tolerance” here, because it subtly suggests that society just has to “put up” with gays – that’s not the point I’m trying to make); and where there is tolerance there is a ground from which understanding and compassion can bloom. Our future generations, in my opinion, will have a lot of negatives (perhaps a post for another time), but the acceptance and defense of gays in this submission should be commended. It appears that our youth may be able to combat this common social perception: that because someone is different from you, they are wrong/sub-human/etc.

Which leads me to the next submission:

-- “Today, I saw a pretty scary-looking guy who had a tall blue Mohawk and tattoos and piercings all over his body. He was helping my elderly neighbor take her trash down the curb. My neighbor told me afterwards that the guy was just walking by and offered to help.”

            I had two initial reactions to this. First, and probably most obvious, is that you simply can’t judge a person’s character based on their looks – you need to observe their actions. And second, that amidst all the pundits claiming that our culture is deteriorating and the kids these days are rude/disrespectful/so-on, it is refreshing to hear the common courtesy and decency still exist. Even if (and especially if) it comes from the unlikeliest of sources. Now, I’m not arguing against those who say that our society is more rude/selfish/etc than previous decades (and I can only take their word for it anyways), because I witness rudeness and the like every day; but I do say there is hope for us yet.

Ok, that is all for this edition. I have many more submissions written down in a notebook, so I will be back with more. Thanks for reading! I hope these stories affected you as they did me. And as a little bonus (because I love dogs) here is one more.

-- “Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.”

           

            Well I can’t end on a downer! Here’s one more.

-- “Today, I went ice-skating. Everyone skating was young, except one guy in his mid-50’s. He kept falling down and smiling. And all the kids kept laughing along with him. I asked him why he decided to skate today. He said, “I was at work earlier and realized I had never been ice-skating. So here I am.”

            Have a nice day :)

[post composed listening to a mellow mixture of music]

The Nice Guy Poem

I don't spit game, I don't play women,
I speak my truth, I don't try to win 'em
with fake words or passing attraction.
Fashion your love from that passion,
the one who can leave you speechless
when you look into her eyes.
I'm pissed at all the guys
that only see a prize,
but that is their weakness.
I hope someday they'll realize
that nice guys "finish last"
cause we put women first.

[ poem composed with a special someone on my mind :) ]

Random Rambling: Part Deux!

 - Stephen King makes a very neat point in his book "On Writing". I thought I'd share it with you:
"And here we go - actual telepathy in action. You'll notice that I have nothing up my sleeves and that my lips never move. Neither, most likely, do yours.
Look - here's a table covered with a red cloth. On it is a cage the size of a small fish aquarium. In the cage is a white rabbit with a pink nose and pink-rimmed eyes. In its front paws is a carrot-stub upon which it is contentedly munching. On its back, clearly marked in blue ink, is the numeral 8.
...This is what we're looking at, and we all see it. I didn't tell you. You didn't ask me. I never opened my mouth and you never opened yours. We're not even in the same year together, let alone the same room...except we are together. We're close.
We're having a meeting of the minds.
I sent you a table with a red cloth on it, a cage, a rabbit, and the number eight in blue ink. You got them all, especially that blue eight. We've engaged in an act of telepathy. No mythy-mountain shit; real telepathy."

 -You know on windy days when the wind swirls the leaves into the air like a mini-leaf-tornado? I want to get my picture taken in the middle of one of those, holding out my arms like I'm creating it.

- Screamo is music stuck on caps lock.

- One of the few bonuses of winter is that your car turns into a refrigerator.

- I define a good driver as one who drives not to wreck (i.e. careless), and makes sure the other drivers won't wreck into you. I'm a good driver mainly because of one thing: I avoid possible scenarios where an accident could occur. I'm not saying I'm never in a position where a wreck could occur - I'm saying I make a conscious effort to reduce the chance of an accident. For example: there is a car coming up behind you in the next lane, and they're speeding up to pass you, but the car in front of them is going too slow and the fast car is approaching quickly - I'll slow down a bit so there's enough room for them to switch lanes. I've seen people cut off by a mere few feet in this scenario because they don't observe this happening in the next lane (I have even done it myself a couple times, but I don't anymore), and why chance that dumbass in the next lane misjudging the distance and clipping you?

-I think, if for some reason I died young in an accident or something, I'd want my tombstone to say something cryptic, like..."Always check your toilet for spiders".

- Looking back on my childhood, I wish I had taken pictures of all my possessions (toys, clothes, books, other random gatherings), cause I often get hit with a wave of nostalgia for something and it triggers a childhood memory. Case in point, a watch I used to own randomly popped into my head (I think it was a Taz watch), and I wanted to see it again. So I think when I have kids, I'm gonna keep an album of most of their possessions, in case one day they want to visit them again.

- I want to learn how to play piano and guitar, and create a giant song that is composed of my favorite sections of songs.

A generation of overreacters and underachievers

This thought randomly popped into my head last night, and with some friendly prompting I've decided to write a post about it.

I don't remember what I was doing/thinking about when it came to me; I just thought it, liked how it sounded, and updated my Facebook status with it. Sometimes that's just how my mind works.

What do I mean by it? Well, after some thought, I've decided that it spawned from what I see.

I see myself, 4 years and counting in college with pretty much nothing to show for it so far - I see others in the same situation as myself. I see magazines that scream out the recent celebrity drama. I see couples that break up and get back together mere hours later, only to do it all over again next week. I see the Occupy Wall Street protests chock full of my generation, pissed at our lack of job opportunities. I see teenagers having babies so they can purposefully be put on welfare, so they can be on Teen Mom, so they can have a reason to legitimately drop out of school. I see people on the Internet argue over the most pointless shit - I even see occasions where a group gets so pissed at the other that they hunt down the others phone number, call them and harass them at their own house/workplace - and it turns out to be a misunderstanding. I see people crushed under the greedy feet of a Black Friday mob. I see our public education system crumbling while churches get tax breaks (not trying to infuriate anyone out here, if you think I believe our education system sucks because of churches, you're missing my point - I just find it sadly ironic that some religions constantly spend millions on new churches, putting them in communities where the nearby elementary school is overcrowded and underfunded. And I sporadically decided to pick on churches for this - I could have used shopping malls or sports arenas if I wanted to). I see a mom choked to death by her own sons because she wanted to play Yahtzee and they didn't. I see the absurdness in the argument that gays can't marry because the sanctity of marriage will be ruined. I see one child forced to crush his pet hamster because of his bad grades.

And then...I see a child being told it is okay to fail, so long as you pick yourself up. I see my grandparents, who stayed happily married for 60+ years (rest in peace Grandma). I see a family compromise on how to spend their time, just as long as it is spent together as a family. I see the Gates Foundation donating billions of their own dollars to the American community, including public schools. I see churches care for the poor, the needy, the sick, the underprivileged. I see calm shoppers, okay with the possibility that they might not be able to buy that perfect materialistic gift this year. I see people in disagreement, remaining respectful of each other and not allowing things to get blown out of proportion, even if the topic on hand is one they feel so strongly and passionately about. I see a teenage mother cradling her newborn baby, softly swaying it and caressing it, whispering messages of love and hope in its ear. I see our economy turning around, spearheaded by cooperative effort that spans the generation gaps. I see high school sweethearts become college sweethearts, become newlyweds, celebrate their Silver Anniversary, pass on peacefully in their bed, hands clasped together  - and not a single day in between did they break it off and then get back together. I see magazines cover important news and information, feel-good stories and life tips. I see myself, in the future, happy and successful (and hopefully married to a wonderful woman).

I see the bad. I see the good. I don't see which one will prevail.

I love messing with people on Omegle

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: thank god. youre not a spambot or a horny male looking to skype

Stranger: asl

You: 54 f colorado

Stranger: 54 f then u must be horny

You: nope

You: menopause

Stranger: ye ur

Stranger: lol

You: kinda took the heat away

Stranger: if ur here

Stranger: wat u wearing?

You: clothes...

Stranger: wat type?

You: tell me young lad, do they still teach proper english in school these days?

Stranger: haha wat do u know?

Stranger: as much as old frustrated grannies want young men

Stranger: so yea

You: well i know how to spell "what"

You: so there's that

Stranger: ever heard of shortenings?

You: like for cooking?

Stranger: wtf u talking about?

You: crisco shortening? for baking?

Stranger: wow ur retarded

Stranger: think a little bit

You: very ironic statement there

Stranger: hiding behind irony shows ur retarded

You: well someone better tell alanis morrisette that

Stranger: wtf u putting alanis morisette for?

Stranger: lol

Stranger: seriously

Stranger: ur fuckn retarded

Stranger: are all old hags like u this way?

You: pretty much

Stranger: wow sad

You: you may as well kill yourself rather than get married

Stranger: aswell

You: oh im happily married

Stranger: but ye sure

Stranger: good for u

You: in fact my husband is laughing at you

Stranger: lol who cares about ur husband?

Stranger: and about u

You: now he's crying because it just hit him that your generation is hopeless

Stranger: hes crying because hes bitch (you) are getting too many wrinkles

You: his*

You: and i'm currently wrinke-free

Stranger: and hes sad

You: save for that one below the belt

Stranger: cuz he cant get bitches

Stranger: u wrinkle free?

Stranger: hahahaha

Stranger: good one

You: well, bitches are overrated anyways

Stranger: thats for sure

Stranger: bet u notice that when u look in the mirror

You: only when i;m naked

Stranger: lol then its just too much

You: still havent picked up on which wrinkle i'm referring to?

Stranger: well to say 1 by 1 would take an eternity

You: here's a hint

You: it starts with "v"

You: and ends in "agina"

Stranger: dont wanna think abt them

Stranger: chill out

You: it is gettin pretty cold up here...

Stranger: bet it is

You: so. "dude". how young are you?

Stranger: 24

Stranger: why do u even care?

You: i'm just curious. does everyone your age not know how to spell?

Stranger: we already talked about that

Stranger: or do i need to remind u?

Stranger: u senile bitch

You: sorry. everytime i read your horrible spelling my brain cells commit suicide

You: so i cant retain information right now

Stranger: lol i just think u dont have any

Stranger: lol if u cant retain info it shows how retarded ur

You: your what?

You: finish your thought..

Stranger: learn to read

You: i am trying. i think "ur" is slang for "your"

You: so you have an incomplete sentence

Stranger: good morning and smell the coffee

You: if you had said "u r" that wouldve made more sense

You: sadly

Stranger: how long did it take u to figure it out?

You: about as long as it's taking you to spell correctly

Stranger: lol u shouldnt talk abt sense

You: so...forever

Stranger: ???

Stranger: huh?

You: am i going too fast for you now?

Stranger: no

Stranger: you just dont make any sense

You: your 7 brain cells must be working overtime right now

You: i pity them

Stranger: lol i pity you

Stranger: trying to act like ur somethn

You: yep. acting like someone who can spell

Stranger: why dont u just go to ur pill eating husband

You: i should really get off my high horse

Stranger: lol u should get off internet

Stranger: and btw

Stranger: ur horse

Stranger: is not high

You: we live in colorado

You: everything is high here

You: metaphorically and literally

Stranger: i dont give a shit where u live

Stranger: ur own "horse"

Stranger: is nt high

Stranger: not

Stranger: ok

Stranger: NOT!

You: why did you even bother correcting that

Stranger: cuz ur retarded head wont get it then

You: i'm doing fine, dont worry about me

Stranger: if idont

Stranger: ahahahha

Stranger: doubt it

You: i assume there are lots of things you doubt

You: like not being able to spell is important for getting jobs

Stranger: i doubt ur husand can fk ur hangy vagina

Stranger: well ur not a person on a so called high "horse"

Stranger: that can give any job

Stranger: so idont mind

Stranger: ur not worth all the effort

You: i wouldn't hire you anyways. so i dont mind either

Stranger: who cares what you would do

Stranger: doesnt have any value

You: some people do

Stranger: as i said

Stranger: dont care abt them either

You: and what are you doing with your life?

Stranger: im not "some of those

Stranger: why do u even care?

You: i dont really

Stranger: lol then shut up

You: just want to make sure i can avoid you at all costs

Stranger: u can by dc

You: dc...now that one youll have to expand on

Stranger: dc=disconnect

Stranger: there is a button

You: oh. then that should be "disconnecting"

Stranger: down on the left

Stranger: bravoooo

You: cmon now, it's not rocket science here

Stranger: u see where it says disconnect?

Stranger: down on the left

You: by george i think i do

Stranger: click on it

Stranger: twice

You: it must be some form of wizardry

Stranger: twice= 2 times

You: it's like you can see my computer screen!

Stranger: ok?

Stranger: and 2 is 1+1

You: or 3-1

Stranger: got it?

You: or 2x1

Stranger: good

Stranger: but u just need to know 1+1 for now

You: or 673 = -671

You: +*

Stranger: ??

Stranger: hahahaha

Stranger: wat a bunch of bull

Stranger: so since 1+1 is 2

Stranger: and hopefully u understood the answer

Stranger: thats how many times u need to click the dc button

Stranger: and btw DC= Disconnect

Stranger: got it?

You: nope. DC is "direct current"

You: as opposed to AC which is "alternating current"

Stranger: wow ur an idiot

You: google it

Stranger: allright im gonna go now

You: alright*

Stranger: ur boringas shit

You: what is a boringas?

You: sounds exotic

Stranger: boring as*

Stranger: ok?

You: see how much more pleasant that is to read?

Stranger: but will surely let u type watever u want

You: fragment

Stranger: so good luck

You: oh i dont need luck

You: but you might

Stranger: in typing anything that makes sense

Stranger: bye

You: dont let this ruin your day now

You: there is still hope for you

You: i...BELIEVE in you!

You: you can do it!

You: werent you leaving?

You: or are you brushing up on your english for me?

You: i know youre still there, and dont want to disconnect and give me the "satisfaction" of "winning"

You: so, adios

You have disconnected.

First Impressions

 Why do first impressions hold so much stock? This thought has been with me for quite some time now. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say everyone has had some of their first impressions turn out to be wrong or misjudged - be it with people, food, movies, music, etc. And yet despite these occurrences, we still make snap appraisals of things and in turn that creates our perception of it, even though we could be completely wrong. I know that when we experience something new our mind needs to create a "file" about it, so it's necessary to make note of the initial things we see/feel. I'm just curious as to why we sometimes feel complete with this very basic assessment.

Most recently I bought a CD ("Mylo Xyloto" by Coldplay), and during my first listen-through I wasn't very impressed with it; but after listening to it more and more I've come to really enjoy it. There are varied factors that come into play when discussing the influence of a first impression. Continuing with my CD example: I thoroughly love just about everything Coldplay has put out, including their unreleased B-sides, so I guess I already have the preconceived that I will like their new album (plus I had heard several of the songs from it prior to its release, and liked them).
However, my first impression was that the new CD was "good, but not as good as their other stuff", and that in itself was a disappointment. Did my high expectations clash with my actual reaction to the CD and therefore result in my initial dissatisfaction? Definitely. But then an interesting thing happened: I listened to it again, and found myself enjoying the songs more and more. I think that having more familiarity with each song, knowing what it's actually like (opposed to what I thought it would be like) removed my expectations from the mix and actually let me listen to the music as it truly existed.

There's an old saying: "Familiarity breeds contempt." I used to think it meant that a person begins to hate all the material things in their lives that remain the same, day after day, like their job, relationships, possessions. Writing this post out has made me think of that quote in a different light. This new Coldplay CD was more different than their other albums, and that may have had some influence on why I didn't like it as much initially; but after listening to it more, I've come to really enjoy their new style and direction (admittedly it's not a drastic change, so that's one knock on my case here. Still, it's pretty different from their older stuff). So if this new CD was more like their older material, I probably would have liked it more at the beginning, but as time goes on I may have become more bored with it, or I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much as their newer style. I guess the point I'm making in connection with the quote is that while familiarity is "safer", it also doesn't offer you a chance to experience something new; and the whole point of human life is to experience new things. So I now think of "familiarity breeds contempt" as a more philosophical motivator, urging us to seek out new experiences.

This realization helped me understand that our first impressions are mainly based on a mixture of reactions, prior knowledge, and emotions. Not a hard concept to understand, given the fact that anytime you react to a new thing you can really only rely on those three aspects. The thing that bothers me is when these first impressions become our entire perception of something, or when they carry so much weight that it takes a lot to overcome the first judgment. I know that it's ridiculous to assume for people to simply stop making snap judgments; I just hope we can realize that we may be totally wrong, or we may change our mind later. Just keeping our minds and attitudes open can make a difference (and if we have that in the first place, perhaps our first impressions will be more accurate).

[Post composed listening to Coldplay's "Mylo Xyloto" album - go figure :) ]

A Random Rambling

- I really dislike it when I'm driving through a parking lot, see a space between two cars that I think is open, only to discover there is already a damn Volkswagen Beetle in it.

- It would be bad to be cursed, for sure. But what if you were cursed so every time you took a bite of food you had to chew 10 times? I don't think I'd be able to eat ice cream anymore.

- I find some people funny-looking. I feel bad for laughing at them because I shouldn't judge someone like that, especially on something as trivial as looks, and ones they can't really do anything about to boot. Having said that, some people look friggin' hilarious.

- A blank page can be your best friend or your worst enemy. (I hope no one famous has said this before, cause I'd rather like having credit for it.)

- When I'm driving and changing lanes, I make it a game to see if I can make it through to the next lane without running over any of the road reflectors.

[post composed listening to "Young Folks" - Peter Bjorn and John]